Sunday, September 30, 2012

6 months and a new announcement

Today marks six months of waiting for Ivey.
 In 6 months a lot has happened with the journey. The wait time has gone up from 8-10 months to our most recent time increase of 29-31 months. This is simply heartbreaking. And the part that worries us the most is it could just keep going up. 
How long are we willing to wait? When will we give up? Will we give up? What are our options?

Let’s talk options:

*There are some new countries we could try – but our fear in this is those countries are so new and honestly they could close anytime.
 *We could switch agencies – go to an agency with less adoptive parents on the list which would equal less of a wait – the problem with this is we would basically have to START over – all the paperwork and the cost….and we would lose what we have already invested.
*Throw domestic back in the mix – the problem with this is we have gone down this road and it broke our hearts 4 times over. So why would we try that again?

So what did we choose you ask?

We decided to add Domestic adoption back in the mix. Are we crazy? Yes! Do we want our daughter to come home? Yes! Will we do whatever we can to get her home? Yes! I met with our agency last week and she brought up domestic and how we would “show” really well to a birth mother. I just listened and at first thought we are so not doing that again.  I came home and told Corey totally thinking he would say NO, but he surprised me with “let’s do this.” New adventure here we come!

So our next step on this new part of our adventure is meet with our agency on Wednesday. We will discuss our profile that will be shown to birth mothers. This is something we have never done before – all our past domestic birth mothers have been found from friends or friends of friends. This will be a brand new journey. We will now be chosen by a birth mother. Our potential birth mother will have come to the agency in hopes of giving her child a better life than the life she can give them. This still isn’t a guarantee but we feel like it is the better way to go. This may or may not happen before we would get a referral from Ethiopia. We can stay on both lists and no we don’t know what we will do if one happens before the other. These are all things we will decide on when the time comes. We are going to ask for a girl – as of right now we are choosing African American or mixed for their race.  We are scared, hopeful, excited, worried, etc. This is a HUGE step for us. So please wish us luck and send prayers our way.

This journey has shown us just how loved we are and how many people we have that support us. I know we could NOT do this without each of you. The texts, the happies, the phone calls, the cards, the instagram love, the donations….we are just blessed beyond measure.  Some of you have asked how Corey and I as a couple are doing. We are great – honestly no matter what has happened, with every adoption that has fallen through Corey reminds me that what matters in this is HE AND I and how we deal with it together as a couple. We have become stronger throughout this journey and are both so excited to be parents.  We are both heartbroken and angry at this last set back but we know all of this will one day be Ivey’s story. We will be able to tell her about the long journey to her, the love of our lives.

With love and gratitude,
Tobi & Corey


  1. Exciting news!! We are going the domestic/agency route so we may be presenting soon, too! I am excited to see how your journey leads you to Ivey. :)

  2. Tears reading this. I'm so happy for you and Corey. I can feel your excitement, and I just know this journey is going to end with you being parents to lucky, lucky Ivey.

  3. Always praying for and supporting you along your journey. Ivey will be with you soon and she will be worth every minute of the wait.

  4. Tears. Ivey is such a lucky girl.
    Good thoughts, m

  5. I am following your story.
    And praying for your journey to find its way where it is supposed to go.
    Good luck you guys!!