Today marks six months of waiting for Ivey.
In 6 months a
lot has happened with the journey. The wait time has gone up from 8-10 months
to our most recent time increase of 29-31 months. This is simply heartbreaking.
And the part that worries us the most is it could just keep going up.
How long
are we willing to wait? When will we give up? Will we give up? What are our
options?
Let’s talk options:
*There are some new countries we could try – but our fear in
this is those countries are so new and honestly they could close anytime.
*We could
switch agencies – go to an agency with less adoptive parents on the list which
would equal less of a wait – the problem with this is we would basically have
to START over – all the paperwork and the cost….and we would lose what we have
already invested.
*Throw domestic back in the mix – the problem with this is
we have gone down this road and it broke our hearts 4 times over. So why would
we try that again?
So what did we choose you ask?
We decided to add Domestic adoption back in the mix. Are we
crazy? Yes! Do we want our daughter to come home? Yes! Will we do whatever we
can to get her home? Yes! I met with our agency last week and she brought up
domestic and how we would “show” really well to a birth mother. I just listened
and at first thought we are so not doing that again. I came home and told Corey totally thinking he would say NO,
but he surprised me with “let’s do this.” New adventure here we come!
So our next step on this new part of our adventure is meet
with our agency on Wednesday. We will discuss our profile that will be shown to
birth mothers. This is something we have never done before – all our past
domestic birth mothers have been found from friends or friends of friends. This
will be a brand new journey. We will now be chosen by a birth mother. Our
potential birth mother will have come to the agency in hopes of giving her
child a better life than the life she can give them. This still isn’t a
guarantee but we feel like it is the better way to go. This may or may not
happen before we would get a referral from Ethiopia. We can stay on both lists
and no we don’t know what we will do if one happens before the other. These are
all things we will decide on when the time comes. We are going to ask for a
girl – as of right now we are choosing African American or mixed for their
race. We are scared, hopeful,
excited, worried, etc. This is a HUGE step for us. So please wish us luck and
send prayers our way.
This journey has shown us just how loved we are and how many
people we have that support us. I know we could NOT do this without each of
you. The texts, the happies, the phone calls, the cards, the instagram love,
the donations….we are just blessed beyond measure. Some of you have asked how Corey and I as a couple are doing.
We are great – honestly no matter what has happened, with every adoption that
has fallen through Corey reminds me that what matters in this is HE AND I and
how we deal with it together as a couple. We have become stronger throughout
this journey and are both so excited to be parents. We are both heartbroken and angry at this last set back but
we know all of this will one day be Ivey’s story. We will be able to tell her
about the long journey to her, the love of our lives.
With love and gratitude,
Tobi & Corey
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